Monday, March 8, 2010
My Dilemma: To Acknowledge or Ignore.
I couldn't help but think today as we were talking about reactions some of us have had to interactions with homeless/impoverished individuals to the feeling I experience every time I pass someone on a street corner asking for help. It seems like more and more often lately that I'll be driving to the mall or Target or some other random place, and see a man on a corner holding a sign asking for money or a job or some other sort of help. I always experience the same feeling of mild panic as I go through the decision of whether to look at the man and smile, or look away and pretend I didn't see him. I mean, they're people for God's sake...why should I pretend I didn't see him there? I can't imagine a situation I could be in that I would feel good about people looking through me or past me, where I would want to be invisible. But to look at the man, to make eye contact...it's like by acknowledging his presence with eye contact I'm then going on to say that while I see you there, I'm choosing not to help you. And on some strange, internal level that seems worse somehow. If I pretend I didn't see him, I'm not saying no to helping him. If I make eye contact and smile, but then keep driving it's somehow saying "while I am obviously in a better situation than you right now, I'm too busy/uncaring/greedy/fill-in-the-blank to help you". Which brings me to our trip. We're going to be working WITH these people; there's no turning a blind eye to the situation. I'm optimistic that this will help me develop a better reaction to this up til now uncomfortable situation.
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Your post was very interesting, Angelique. I see this same man just about everyday on my ride home from work in Minneapolis. What you wrote about to acknowledge or ignore was all too true for myself. Maybe after this immersion we will feel more comfortable acknowledging this man and understanding.
ReplyDeleteWhen I see a homeless person on the side of the road with a sign I find myself wishing there were something I could do for them. I typically always have my kids with me in the car, so I don't dare stop to offer a ride or anything like that, although I wouldn't doubt I would if my kids weren't along. In Eau Claire we have a new resource for homeless in the winter (Valleybrook Warming Center) which provides a warm place to spend the cold nights. They offer soup, coffee, hot chocolate, etc. They also take donations of warm clothing, books, etc. I now keep a stack of their brochures in my glove box along with a brochure of community resources to hand out to the homeless I see. At least I feel I'm doing something that will help them to help themselves, and acknowledging their presence and situation. I don't feel comfortable just handing over money, just because of my preconceived notion that they might spend it on alcohol or drugs. I have no idea if that's the case, but I feel like I'd like to know more about them and their situation before handing over money. I like to get to the root of the problem, not just put a bandaid on it. I'm anxious to hear the stories of the people who are homeless in DC. I think a lot of questions will be answered, biases put to rest (or new ones formed?), and a new understanding of what it is that others like me can do to really help them. I've heard one of the big reasons for such a high incidence of homelessness in DC is that housing is so expensive there. I'm curious to see what advocates have been doing there to address the big problems.
ReplyDeleteI liked your frank and honest post, as I think it is something we can all admit to. I think people believe that by trying to ignore homeless people and avoid eye contact that they don't have to deal with the issue, and can pretend it is happening at all. Sometimes I think people feel ashamed or embarrassed just to acknowledge less fortunate people - by giving them money or even just smiling at them. I have just written a post also entitled 'ignore or acknowledge' but from a different angle, as I talk about acqaintances and those people that you only meet once or twice. I would love people to read it as I really want to hear about other people's experiences on the matter.
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